Tag Archives: how to be a better restaurant server

The Lost Art Of Suggestive Selling

This will be relevant by the end of the post.

“Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.” –Anonymous

 

We as a society have really lost the power of subtlety.  It could be because we have lost the patience to unravel it.  We receive far more information on a daily basis than our ancestors a hundred years ago could even process.  Most of this information is not subtle.  It is blasted at us with bells and whistles to get our attention.  The news channels do not just report the news, they also tell us what to think about it.  Movies no longer imply that a couple is about to “make whoopee”, they show us the scenes in the trailer.  In a few generations we have gone from Marilyn Monroe standing over a vent to Britney Spears getting out of a limousine.

With all of these changes, we have forgotten what it means to be “suggestive.”  This is particularly true in restaurants.  A few decades ago, corporate restaurants determined that they wanted their servers to be sales people.  The also determined that they had no interest in paying for the training necessary to actually accomplish this.  Instead, they decided to teach their servers to use adjectives and “suggestive selling.”  One of the first posts on this blog was declaring my disdain for the overuse of adjectives.  I recently realized that I never discussed my equal dislike for the corporate restaurant incarnation of “suggestive selling.”

As with most great restaurant ideas of the last couple decades, this was based on “research.”  No one will ever accuse upper level restaurant managers of being scientists or sociologists.  When they set up this “research” they will generally have one group follow the protocol they want to introduce.  The other group will do nothing different.  When the first group produces results greater than the second, they view this as proof of success.  This result is then broadcast as fact and soon becomes conventional wisdom.  They seldom look for the actual mechanism that produces the result or how their hypothesis can be altered to produce greater results.

Before we go any further, I want to try an experiment of my own.  I will not claim it to be scientific, but I will use it for a point later on.  This is not a trick and there is no wrong answer.  In your mind, I want you to picture a glass of wine, a cocktail, and an appetizer.  Your first instinct is all that matters.  Try to remember for just a few minutes what each of those items are.  Is the wine red or white?  A particular varietal?  What appetizer and cocktail were your first responses?  Are these the ones that sound most appealing to you at this particular moment?  We will return to this point in a minute.

It is probably necessary for me to clarify what suggestive selling is and conversely what it is not.  Restaurants have inaccurately labeled any number of things as suggestive selling.  Suggestive selling is not asking a guest if they would like to add a salad or soup to their meal.  While it is making a suggestion, it is not suggestive selling.  Suggestive selling is using the power of suggestion to manifest an idea in the buyer’s mind of something they want.  People have a negative reflex towards being sold something.  They on the other hand will gladly buy something that they determined on their own that they wanted.  The art of suggestive selling is to create the idea in their mind while allowing them to take credit for the idea.

White Zinfandel, Margarita, and Chips and Salsa.  The law of averages tells me that because I picked the most common response to each of those categories I should have guessed one right for about a third of you.  Additionally, about one third of you would alter your answer because I guessed it.  Most of you I struck out on.  Let me follow up with another question.  Do any of you think my guesses are more appealing than the ones you had in your mind originally?

The commonly used statistic in restaurants is that suggesting a specific glass of wine, cocktail, or appetizer will increase the sales of that item by ten to twenty percent.  This is compared to walking up to a table and asking them, “what can I get you to drink?”  While I already discussed why the word “drink” kills sales.  I think there is a third option the “research” does not account for.  Using words that trigger a response in the minds of your guests.

When I asked you to think of those particular items earlier, you most likely picked the ones you liked most.  Just as the word “drink” produces an instinctive response, so do “wine”, “cocktail”, and “appetizer.”  While “drink” probably produces a reply of your favorite non-alcoholic beverage, the other words open up a new world of possibilities.  If when I said “cocktail” you started salivating for a Dewars and water, I would not produce the same results by recommending a top shelf margarita.  In fact a margarita was the opposite of what you were thinking and now I have labeled myself as someone who is trying to sell you something you do not want.

Suggestive selling is making subtle statements that lead people to decide on their own to buy things you want to sell.  It is not pushing particular items on them.  Letting the guest have the thought on their own makes them feel like they are in control.  It also prevents you from looking like a salesperson.  Oddly enough the mark of excellence as a server who sells is the guest not being aware that you are selling them anything.  A good server provides their guests with what they want.  A great server leads their guests to want things that they did not even know they wanted.

Other articles on how to sell more as a server:

I Make A Mean Cherry Limeade

Using Words That Sell

The Most Important Phrase You Are Not Using

Selling Away and Selling Up

How To Sell More Desserts

Tips2: Tips For Improving Your Tips is the new book from the author of The Hospitality Formula Network.  It contains the 52 essential skills of the exceptional server.  This book teaches the philosophy to turn average service into an exceptional guest experience that will rapidly increase your tips.  This book shows how you can provide better customer service and dramatically improve your tips.  Enter the coupon code “squared” to receive 20% off your copy today.

A World Without Tips

A world without tips

I am still incredibly grateful for my recent guest post on tipping.  It inspired my response that discussed the economics of tipping.  It also raised a few other interesting points that I am now learning are common misconceptions about restaurants.  For people who have never worked in a restaurant, these misconceptions can easily be mistaken as facts.  Upon further consideration they may not be wise to pursue.  One interesting idea that she raised in the post was raising the wages paid to server by restaurants to replace tipping.  While on the surface it seems quite logical, it would have a disastrous impact on the industry.

Restaurants are operated on incredibly thin profit margins.  As discussed in a previous post, large corporate restaurant chains are extremely susceptible to anything that affects their stock prices. With a huge spike in the cost of labor, restaurant stock prices would crumble.  Independent restaurant owners struggling to stay afloat would shutter.  Consumers would lose choices.  A vast majority of restaurants would survive this initial wave, but be forced into the next step.

The remaining restaurants would set a wage for servers considerably lower than what the servers make now.  Professional servers with years of experience would have to settle for the new rate or venture into a new career field.  Between servers quitting and terminations, restaurants would reduce the size of their server staff by about a third.  Servers who worked four table sections before would now be required to work six tables for less money.  This would reduce the damage to the restaurant’s bottom line, but also drastically reduce the quality of service that was provided to guests.

Even reducing the number of servers would not compensate for the server wage tripling or quadrupling.  The restaurant’s only alternative would be to pass the cost along to the consumer.  A fair amount of profit will also be included in this price spike.  This will be allowed because restaurant prices are based upon the comparative value to a competitor, not the cost of the food or labor.  As the consumers recognize that they are paying more and receiving less service, they will cut back on their dining expenditures.  This leads to more restaurants closing and more employees out of work.

The remaining restaurants will face less competition and the consumers will have fewer choices.  When this occurs, the remaining restaurants have less incentive to keep menu prices low.  With fewer serving jobs available, server wages would stagnate and then fall.  The industry will digress to where it stood generations ago.  Fine dining for special occasions and the wealthy, diners for the rest of us.  Eating out becomes a greater luxury and the experience is far less enjoyable.

Now some may argue that restaurants would never cut server pay to the extent that they did not provide a livable wage.  I would argue that they in fact have already followed this path, but in a way most guests never see.  If we look at the hard truths of the restaurant industry, we can already see that this has happened in one area.  What has happened in the kitchen is a precursor to what would happen to servers in a world without tips.

There was a time only a few decades ago when you could raise a family on a cook’s wage.  A cook could be mentored by a chef for years and eventually run a kitchen of his own.  As line cook, he could still make a livable wage.  Chefs were the highest paid people in the restaurant because they were the primary reason for the guests to select the restaurant.  They ran the kitchen, designed the menu, and were often the face of the restaurant.

When corporate and multi-unit restaurants began popping up around the country, this began to change.  Instead of a chef designing the menu for their restaurant, a chef designed the menu for the chain.  As the number of restaurants grew the number of chefs actually declined.  This made operating the restaurant far cheaper and lowered the price to the guest.  In order to compete new restaurants skipped the chef’s salary and paid for a consultant to design their menus.  This was still a more friendly option than the common alternative of hiring a chef to write the menu and train the staff only to fire them six months later.

Companies then began mass-producing their sauces or buying them from outside sources.  This completed the transition.  It is only logical to pay someone less to reheat a sauce than to make it from scratch.  This meant fewer skilled positions available in the kitchen.  The chefs that remained were subject to pay freezes and lack of opportunities elsewhere.  When they left, line cooks replaced them had far less experience and were paid a far lower wage.  Those promoted line cooks were replaced by people willing to work for less money.  This pattern continued until the starting wage in a kitchen was reduced to a national average of less than ten dollars an hour.  Young, single men and people who were not born here now fill most of the jobs.

Further proof of this comes from the hotel industry.  Service charges at hotels often run over twenty percent.  This allows for the hotel to keep as much as eight percent of this “tip” for themselves.  They can keep the prices lower on their banquet menus knowing that this extra profit is built in.  The servers receive the same percent on the lower prices.  The hotel makes the extra profit and none of it trickles down to the servers.

I know that tipping seems like an annoyance.  It truly is better for the guest and the server for the current system to be maintained.  In no way should any of this be construed as an argument against forcing restaurants to pay a decent wage to servers.  Restaurant owners and their lobbying groups are at work all across the country arguing that the server wage should be lowered from its sub minimum wage level.  Paying the server directly through tips means more of the money ends up in the servers pockets and less to the restaurant owners.  This means more incentive to provide the service the guest expects.

Tips2: Tips For Improving Your Tips is the new book from the author of The Hospitality Formula Network.  It contains the 52 essential skills of the exceptional server.  This book teaches the philosophy to turn average service into an exceptional guest experience that will rapidly increase your tips.  This book shows how you can provide better customer service and dramatically improve your tips.  Enter the coupon code “squared” to receive 20% off your copy today.

People Who Read This Post Also Enjoyed:

In Defense of Selling as a Server (Part One) (Tips Squared)

A Few More Thoughts On Emmer (Tips Squared)

Restaurant Etiquette: Pop Quiz (Restaurant Laughs)

A Food Critic Intervention (The Manager’s Office)

Chef Nicolette: An Introduction (Foodie Knowledge)

Making a Difference

Hey guys could we get some saucers?

The weekend is upon us.  Friday and Saturday nights get busy and take a lot out of us.  The pace is faster, the side stations are more crowded, and all of the saucers in the restaurant seem to hide.  The guests do not seem to understand any of this and have far less patience.  This leads to frustration on our part and the feeling of  a battle.  A normally nice restaurant turns into a fortress.  The staff fortifies as an army defending against the invading hordes.  Trying to get them fed so they will retreat.  The evening ends with the restaurant looking like a battlefield.  We gather our wounded at the end of the night and plan our invasion of someplace that stays open later than our restaurant does.

Friday and Saturday nights are called “amateur hour” because the guests are less restaurant savvy.  They are not as aware of the burdens they place on us by all deciding to come out to eat on the same night.  They are less patient, less informed, and less generous.  We wish for one moment they could step in our shoes and know our struggles.  Yet, how often do we extend them the same courtesy?  Take a couple minutes to watch this video before answering.

I first saw this video on the Crazy Waiter blog and it really made me stop and think.  I truly believe that people are not evil.  Most of them do not make the reservation hoping to have the opportunity to make us miserable.  They come into our restaurants to get away from the problems they face in their lives.  Our workplace is where they go to escape.

This presents us not only with a challenge, but also an opportunity.  We have the chance to make a difference in our guests’ days.  We have an opportunity to interact with people in the way most jobs never allow.  For an hour, or several hours depending on the type of restaurant, we are linked to our guests.  It is up to us how we use that time.  It takes two to tango and it takes two to fight.  We cannot control their attitude, but we can control how we respond to it.

We can make a difference.  I know it sounds cliché.  It is repeated so often because it is true.  How you interact with a guest can change the rest of their evening.  The key is to attempt to make a difference.  I received a link in my email this week from my mother that I think demonstrates this point very well.  It is only a couple minutes long, but I think they are well spent.

The key to this story is not that Johnny tried to follow a corporate mandate.  He was not trying to get better tips.  There was nothing self-serving about his thought of the day.  He just wanted to do his part to make people happy.  It was a simple gesture that produced impressive results.

Obviously I am not suggesting slipping a “thought of the day” in your check presenters.  Instead I am advocating taking the time to find a way to make things better.  Servers have far more interaction with guests than a bagger would.  We have the opportunity to make a bigger difference because we have the chance to know more about our guests.  They will drop hints about their special occasions or why they are dining out that night.  Make their celebrations special even if they are just celebrating having a baby sitter.

Making a difference doesn’t start with trying to get a bigger tip.  It starts with trying to make your guest’s dinner more special.  It begins with not taking a table off.  A good friend of mine, an exceptional waiter named Jeff, works at a local country club.  He has for a few years and he told me something the other night that resonated with me.  He said, “Most of our guests are older.  For some of them it will be the last time they get to have a nice dinner with their friends.  You can’t screw up that meal.”

The strange part is that the more you focus on improving your guests’ experiences, the smoother your night goes.  Earlier this week I finally posted something I wrote about having a good night as a server.  The difference between that night and most others was not that I tried harder, made more money, or had friendlier guests.  All of those were true, but they were not the key ingredients.  The key was that I was making people happy.  I was able to make a difference in their evening.  Regardless of all of the other things that happened because of it, I had a great night.

Focusing on the guests and making a difference is the easiest way to improve your night.  The weekend will be busy.  It will be filled with stresses you would rather not deal with.  Instead of focusing on those stresses, focus on the guests. You cannot make those saucers stop disappearing, but you can make the night memorable for more than your search for them.  Find a way to make difference in their night and yours will improve dramatically.

Tips2: Tips For Improving Your Tips is the new book from the author of The Hospitality Formula Network.  It contains the 52 essential skills of the exceptional server.  This book teaches the philosophy to turn average service into an exceptional guest experience that will rapidly increase your tips.  This book shows how you can provide better customer service and dramatically improve your tips.  Enter the coupon code “squared” to receive 20% off your copy today.

People Who Read This Post Also Enjoyed:

How To Sell The Bottle (Tips Squared)

Foil To-Go: The Swan (Tips Squared)

Retiring Jokes (Restaurant Laughs)

Leadership: Creating A Shared Goal (The Manager’s Office)

Regional Barbeque Styles (Foodie Knowledge)

On A Good Night

On the great nights

(Note: I am enjoying the final day of my mini vacation.  Having a great trip.  Met my favorite musician and a personal hero yesterday.  Today I will be taking the scenic drive through the Ozark hills of Central Missouri.  This is a post I wrote a couple months ago.  Not my standard fare, but I hope you all enjoy it.)

Some nights I just love waiting tables.  They are the nights where everything goes right.  The guests are congenial and friendly.  You make connections with your tables and they are happy.  They take your recommendations and commend you on them afterwards.  It almost doesn’t seem like work.

It is almost like I am better looking.  My jokes are funnier.  I walk a little taller.  I scoff at the weeds.  I am a well-oiled machine.  I could juggle trays of martinis while shelling a lobster.  The women flirt.  How could they not, I am better looking tonight.

It’s not just me though.  The food seems to actually taste better.  The guests love it.  That can’t be the same special nobody liked three days ago.  The wine is pairing perfectly with it.  The bottles keep rolling out.  Other tables throughout the restaurant are staring into my section with envy.  I’m running a section like Frank Sinatra would work a room.  They might as well just put a velvet rope around my section.

Tonight was one of those nights.  Well maybe not as perfect as I described above, but it sure felt like it.  Those nights have been fewer lately.  One of the worst months I have had financially in a while.  Tonight wasn’t spectacular financially by any means, but I didn’t stop to worry about it.  I was having too much fun and it all worked out just fine.

I am contemplating what made tonight so much different than other nights.  Other nights can be the exact opposite.  Tables sometime just seem to drain you.  Otherwise kind and friendly people just speak to you in short curt statements.  It is clear you are just there to bring them their food.  You are a needless expense to the meal from whom they intend to get their money’s worth of labor out of.

I think the difference it that today I made some people happy.  Tables that would have been content with the mediocre service they expected gave me a chance to do it differently.  They trusted my recommendations.  I didn’t let them down.  They smiled at me and they also smiled more at each other.  I had a few couples that celebrated anniversaries.  Both young and old.  They enjoyed their meals and each other.  I saw couples that walked in with frowns and walked out with smiles and I played a part in that.

Waiting tables isn’t the world’s most glamorous job.  Sometimes people just don’t understand why I still do it.  What they don’t realize is that on nights like tonight, I have the greatest job on earth.  I got paid to make people happy.  There are people tonight who shared their special occasions with me and are glad they did.  There are couples who enjoyed their night out away from their kids.  There are young women on a girl’s night out who had more fun because I served them dinner.  If you can think of a better thing in the world to get paid for, then you can recruit me.

Not every night is like tonight, but the internet is filled with those stories.  Tonight the internet gets a good story.  I am just as tired and just as sore as I am after any other Saturday night, but tonight was a win.  I hope your night was as well.  If it wasn’t, I hope I brought you a little faith that it will be your turn soon.

Tips2: Tips For Improving Your Tips is the new book from the author of The Hospitality Formula Network.  It contains the 52 essential skills of the exceptional server.  This book teaches the philosophy to turn average service into an exceptional guest experience that will rapidly increase your tips.  This book shows how you can provide better customer service and dramatically improve your tips.  Enter the coupon code “squared” to receive 20% off your copy today.

People Who Read This Post Also Enjoyed:

Selling, Upselling, and Integrity (Tips Squared)

Learning Restaurant Spanish (Nouns) (Tips Squared)

The Upside of Dating Co-Workers (Restaurant Laughs)

Thank You Mister Robinson (The Manager’s Office)

Foodie Friday: Beef Made Easy (Part One) (Foodie Knowledge)

Resumes For Servers

What I meant by "Head Trainer" was "Head Trainer of Dishwashers."

“You should never write your own resume, personal ad, or obituary.  In all three cases it is better to show your humility by letting someone else lie for you.”

-David Hayden

Every since picking up a copy of Peter’s Quotations in high school it has been a personal goal of mine to quote myself in something I wrote.  I can now check that one of the bucket list.  Contrary to the impression I give writing this blog, I am actually a pretty humble guy.  I consider humility an attribute.  In most cases it serves a person well.  Writing a resume is not one of those cases.

Writing a successful resume requires the writer to place the most positive spin on their achievements possible.  This does not mean lying, but rather fully accentuating the positive.  There is no room for humility in resume writing.  It is assumed by the reader that a resume contains a fair amount of exaggeration.  If you do not include that exaggeration, your humility will be mistaken for it.

I recently was asked by a friend to take a look at her resume.  She had a big interview coming up and wanted to have a fresh set of eyes to take a look over it.  I determined at this point there are two types of people in this world: those who edit and those who write.  I write, but am not so strong on the editing side (as many of you who read regularly have gathered).  I returned to her what I consider a very strong server resume.  She gave me permission to share parts of it with you and I think it can provide some inspiration for anyone writing their own.

The Objective: I have seen a wide variety of objectives on resumes.  Most of them miss the point.  The purpose of an objective is to inform the reader that your mindset matches theirs.  This is not about talking about your life objectives.  Instead it is to demonstrate that you want to make their business better, which is what they are hoping for in a new hire.  Here is the revised objective that I copied directly from my resume:

“To utilize my extensive serving experience and leadership skills to improve the profitability and overall service level of an outstanding restaurant.”

 

Experience: This is where humility is a killer.  You need to define the specific duties you performed at your previous jobs. Do not assume that a manager automatically understands the duties of a “closer” at your previous restaurant.  This is your opportunity to accentuate where you feel you excelled at you former establishments.  The layout here should be very concise and almost formulaic.  I prefer to start each of these sentences with a verb.  It keeps it crisp and concise.  Also pay close attention to verb tenses.  Here are the descriptions I used on her resume:

 

Provided exceptional service to guests in both a fine dining and cocktail environment.

Trained dining and cocktail servers to meet high standards of guest service.

Received numerous written guest compliments and commendations.

Delivered prompt and efficient service in a hectic and crowded environment.

Demonstrated above average leadership and support skills to co-workers in a high volume establishment.

Excelled in a highly structured fine dining establishment with rigorous standards.

Developed a balance between being able to follow leadership and providing it when needed.

 

Related Experience/Skills: Traditional resume formats fail servers when it comes to relating the actual skills you bring to a restaurant.  Since there is no recognized degree to qualify you to be a server, an education section is far less necessary.  I personally save that for the application.  Instead take advantage of this space to talk about what you bring to the table as a server.  This allows you to better inform the reader.  While in the previous section I used verbs in the past tense, these should all be in present tense.  If you have a significant number of previous employers, consider a second page that lists them in the same format as your resume, but without the job descriptions.  In this resume, here are the related skills:

Skills Profile

Learns all aspects of new menus and specialties and rapidly develop descriptions that sell them to guests.

Develops rapport and respect among coworkers based upon actions and work ethic.

Fosters lasting relationships with customers through a hospitality driven approach to serving.

Continues to expand on an already vast knowledge of cocktails, alcohol, and wine.

Leads by example and raises the standards of co-workers.

Desires the opportunity to take on new challenges and produce results.

 

Always keep in mind that a resume represents you.  There is no need to reinvent the wheel.  Failing to adhere to the rules of resume writing will make the reader question your ability to follow their rules if given the job.  Keep it simple, concise, and powerful.  Take advantage of the opportunity to brag about you.  If you cannot, let someone else do it for you.

Do you have any other tips?  Leave them in the comment section.  Any hiring managers want a copy of my resume?  Just drop me a note at hospitalityformula@gmail.com .  You can never have too many humble servers like myself around.

For more advice on job hunting as a server, check out this previous post.

Tips2: Tips For Improving Your Tips is the new book from the author of The Hospitality Formula Network.  It contains the 52 essential skills of the exceptional server.  This book teaches the philosophy to turn average service into an exceptional guest experience that will rapidly increase your tips.  This book shows how you can provide better customer service and dramatically improve your tips.  Enter the coupon code “squared” to receive 20% off your copy today.

People Who Read This Post Also Enjoyed:

In Defense of Selling as a Server (Part Three) (Tips Squared)

Coupons, Discounts, and How to Deal (Tips Squared)

Weird Restaurant Stories 8/28 (Restaurant Laughs)

Hot Schedules Reviewed: Part One (The Manager’s Office)

Tipping On To Go Orders (Foodie Knowledge)