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The New Tips For Improving Your Tips Index

I truly want Tips For Improving Your Tips to become the web’s premeir site for server knowledge and the skills that help server’s increase their income.  This site is filled with over 100 posts that help further that goal.  This also means that can be a bit daunting to read.  In order to make it easier to navigate, I have created this handy index to help you find the information you need quickly.  I will continue to update this index, but the best way to stay up to date on the information posted on this blog is to become a fan on facebook or follow the blog on Twitter ( @tips4tips ).

The Rules of Serving

The Rules: Rules 1-10

The Rules of Serving: Rules One and Two

The Rules of Serving: Rule Three

The Rules of Serving: Rule Four

The Rules of Serving: Rule Five

The Rules of Serving: Rule Six

The Rules of Serving: Rule Seven

The Rules of Serving: Rule Eight

The Rules of Serving: Rule Nine

The Rules of Serving: Rule Ten

Selling As A Server

The Most Important Phrase You Are Not Using

Using Words That Sell

Selling Away and Selling Up

I Make A Mean Cherry Limeade

Wine Descriptions That Sell

Three Ways to Describe Dishes

In Defense of Selling as a Server (Part One)

In Defense of Selling as a Server (Part Two)

In Defense of Selling as a Server (Part Three)

How To Sell More Desserts

How To Sell The Bottle

Selling, Upselling, and Integrity

The Lost Art Of Suggestive Selling

Bringing It All Together

How To Sell The “Add On”

Three Ways to Describe Dishes

Interacting with Guests

The Mistake and The Letter

Spotting The Complaint

How To Make Hostile Guests Love You (Part One)

How To Make Hostile Guests Love You (Part Two)

How To Make Hostile Guests Love You (Part Three)

Building and Maintaining Rapport

Creating Regulars

One Liners For Servers

Humorous Complaint Responses

Skills of a Server

Foil To-Go: The Swan

Foil To Go: The Shark

Five More Simple Tricks

Making Tips on To-Go Orders

Learning Restaurant Spanish (Nouns)

How To Serve A Bottle Of Wine

Coupons, Discounts, and How to Deal

Memorizing Orders

How To Memorize Orders

The Murphy Table

Life As A Server

Budgeting for Servers

Job Hunting: The Do’s and Don’ts

Love and Greed

Resumes For Servers

What I Use

Server Safety Tips

Job Hunting: Questions To Ask

Avoiding The Write-Up

Remembering Labor on Labor Day

The Disadvantages of Set Schedules

The Advantages of Set Schedules

Serving Sober

What Goes Around

Please Remain Calm

Have You Done Your Rollups?

Server Knowledge

Five Simple Tricks

Five More Simple Tricks

Learning Restaurant Spanish (Nouns)

The Crazy Waiter Does It Again

Another Five Simple Tricks

The Best of Tips For Improving Your Tips

Inspiration and Motivation

Making a Difference

What I Use

Reasons to be Optimistic

Kicking the Cat

The Meaning of Hospitality

About Serving

Is Running Hot Food Always The Priority?

Seeing Your Restaurant Again For The First Time

A Bit of Publicity and the Response

Fighting For The Server Wage

A Few More Thoughts On Emmer

Refuting Emmer’s Myths

10 Reasons Why Serving Is Not Like Your Job

Recommended Reading 11/1

Server Safety Tips

Recommended Reading 11/8

The Economics of Tipping

A World Without Tips

Critiquing The Server

We Cannot Be Trusted?

The Truth About Credit Card Theft In Restaurants

Creating A Server Community

Is The Career Server An Endangered Species?

Weekly Skills focus

Skills Focus: Making Recommendations

Skills Focus: Describing Dishes

Skills Focus: Words That Sell

Skills Focus: Spotting The Complaint

Skills Focus: Building And Maintaining Rapport

Skill Focus: Creating Regulars

Skill Focus: Don’t Be “The Server”

Skill Focus: Selling As A Server

About

About The Author

About The Hospitality Formula Network

About Hospitality Formula Consulting

About Tips²: Tips For Improving Your Tips

Tips2: Tips For Improving Your Tips is the new book from the author of The Hospitality Formula Network. It contains the 52 essential skills of the exceptional server. This book teaches the philosophy to turn average service into an exceptional guest experience that will rapidly increase your tips. This book shows how you can provide better customer service and dramatically improve your tips. Enter the coupon code “squared” to receive 20% off your copy today.

Skill Focus: Creating Regulars

regulars

I am kind of a pain to go eat with.  When I make reservations or arrive at any number of restaurants I have a conversation with the host/hostess.  Before being seated I have to determine if certain servers are working that night.  Then we all have to wait to get a table in their section. This annoys some of the people who go out to eat with me.  I assure them that I am proactively trying to make sure we get great service.  I don’t leave such things to chance.  Besides, why would I sit in a random section when I am that server’s regular?

I am a regular for a number of servers around town.  Some are servers that I have worked with in the past.  Others are servers who have given me great service on previous visits.  In addition to the type of tip that only a devout believer in tip karma would leave, I also give repeat business.  I will eat mediocre food with great service, but have written off many restaurants with great food and poor service.  I am the type of regular you want to have.

We all want regulars.  I have had more than my share over the years.  This is because I started very early on in my career trying to determine what created regulars.  I still have some of my first “server business cards” from 14 years ago.  When I recently changed restaurants, I was pleasantly surprised to see the names of some of my favorite regulars on the books during my first month.  This was a very heartwarming tribute to the type of relationship we had developed.

I first shared some of my tips in the post this week’s skill focus is based upon: Creating Regulars.

I covered the basics in that post.  Today I want to give you some more tips on how to turn guests into regulars.

Make time to visit: Even if a guest you had rapport with on a previous visit is not in your section, make time to at least thank them for returning.  This will likely cause them to think highly of you and remember you when they return.

Point out what you remember: If they mention they are going on a trip, be sure and ask how it was when they return.  Point out the fact that you remembered the special requests they had on their last visit.  One set of regulars at my current job require, water with no ice, straws, lemon, sugar, butter, hot sauce, and a box delivered with their meal.  This would normally make them high maintenance, but by memorizing that list, it is one trip to get all of it and leave them impressed.

Use their names: If you want a guest to use your name when they come in, you need to use their name when they are seated.  I prefer to stick to last names.  Greeting a guest with, “Welcome back Mr Johnson” will always make them glad they used your name at the door.

Make them feel special: Introduce them to you manager as someone the manager should know.  Tell them about items you think are outstanding that evening.  Give them the name of another server they can ask for if you are not there and make an introduction.  These are things that give your guests a feeling that they are VIPs.  They will return to maintain that status.

Use Open Table: So many restaurants have Open Table, but very few servers utilize it.  Put some guest notes in the system to provide you with information you want to remember on their next visit.  It is also very helpful for jogging your memory with guests that remember you, but that you don’t remember.  Open Table will tell you the date and table of their last visit.  I find this invaluable in keeping track of new regulars.

Everyone wants to be a regular.  Every server wants to have more regulars.  It is up to the server though to take the necessary steps to facilitate this relationship.  Giving the level of service that makes a guest come back in to see you is only the first step.  Following up with the type of personalized and grateful service that merits a return visit is what creates a long-term regular for years to come.

Tips2: Tips For Improving Your Tips is the new book from the author of The Hospitality Formula Network. It contains the 52 essential skills of the exceptional server. This book teaches the philosophy to turn average service into an exceptional guest experience that will rapidly increase your tips. This book shows how you can provide better customer service and dramatically improve your tips. Enter the coupon code “squared” to receive 20% off your copy today.

The Rules of Serving: Rule Ten

 

Serving

The long awaited rule ten

Rule Ten: Pessimism is a self-fulfilling prophecy

Every restaurant has at least one server who is chronically pessimistic.  They come in for every shift expecting the worse.  Even when they are proven wrong they find a reason to complain.  If the ceiling started raining hundred dollar bills, they would complain about having to pay taxes on it.  When there are a large number of reservations on the books, they complain about having a bad section.  These are the people who can see a rainbow and still be complaining about the rain that just ended.

Oddly enough, these people are far more accurate about their predictions than anyone else in the restaurant.  They predict that they are going to make less money than they should and their attitude helps it to occur.  I am not saying that having a positive attitude going into a shift will guarantee that you will make all the money you want.  A positive attitude will not make the restaurant busy or cause guests to come pouring through the door.  A negative attitude will almost certainly mean that you will make less money from the guests that do arrive.

Even when the pessimistic server is correct, they are still a drag on the staff.  The pessimist is far less fun to work with.  They start to drag everyone else on the shift down.  These negative predictions about the evening often influence their opinions about the guests that do come in.  They determine in advance that a certain guest won’t tip well or won’t order the items they want to sell.  This reduces their desire to deliver top notch service and earn the tip they want.  They would often rather prove their pessimism right than put in the work to make better tips.

The real threat is if the pessimist is wrong.  Their attitude leads to them not properly preparing for a busy shift.  They are caught off guard when the rush hits and they have failed to adequately stock the items they need.  They are not mentally prepared and up to speed when the rush occurs.  After they start off behind in this way, they use it as a reason to prove their pessimism.  The poor tips they received are presented as evidence that they were correct about their guests.  They fail to acknowledge that their pessimism robbed them of the energy to prepare for the shift and provide top notch service.  When the guests’ tips reflect this, they blame lays with the guest and not their attitude.

The key to providing exceptional service is to set realistic expectations.  Most evenings you cannot predict whether or not the restaurant will be busy.  This is the nature of the restaurant industry.  Unrealistic optimism is not the healthy balance either.  The key is to be realistic.  Enter every shift knowing that you are prepared for whatever happens.  Determine that you will focus on giving exceptional service to every table that arrives.  Whether you wait on one guest or one hundred, they will receive the best service you can give them.  Know that they will tip accordingly.  If they do not, understand that it is not an accurate prediction of what the next table will do any more than a great tip would mean the next table will leave you just as much.

One of the very few things you can control in the restaurant industry is your attitude.  Being realistic as you enter a shift will leave you in the best position possible to leave with the most money you can.  Pessimism can rob you of this ability.  A bad attitude virtually guarantees that you will make less money than you could have.  Be optimistic when you can, be realistic when you can’t, but never be pessimistic.  You restaurant and your bank account cannot afford the luxury of pessimism. 

Check out the other Rules of Serving

Tips2: Tips For Improving Your Tips is the new book from the author of The Hospitality Formula Network.  It contains the 52 essential skills of the exceptional server.  This book teaches the philosophy to turn average service into an exceptional guest experience that will rapidly increase your tips.  This book shows how you can provide better customer service and dramatically improve your tips.  Enter the coupon code “squared” to receive 20% off your copy today.

How To Make Hostile Guests Love You (Part One)

There was a better solution

One of the most difficult situations any server faces is the hostile guest.  I call them hostile, because they are angry with you long before you have even greeted them.  Some people just bring all the hostility of their day in to a restaurant and dump it on their server.  From the moment you greet them, they make it clear that they know you are only smiling because you have to and that none of your upselling mind tricks are going to work on them.  The average server can spot this right away and provides adequate service while avoiding small talk at all cost.

This approach is the response the guest is accustomed to.  It reconfirms their belief that the only reason you were being friendly in the first place was to get their tip.  They peg you as a phony and the restaurant version of détente is underway.  Most servers try to avoid this type of guest.  In reality though these guests are the ones you can make the biggest impact on.  Once you learn how to defuse these time bomb guests, you are well on your way to building a regular for life.

The secret to winning over these guests is to first clarify exactly what you are dealing with.  There are five basic types of hostile guests.  These types represent nearly all of the habitually mean guests you will face as a server.  Knowing how to spot which type you are dealing with will allow you to choose the right tactic to win them over.  Each has tell tale traits that allows you to spot them.

Here are the five underlying reasons that make guests hostile:

1) They Think You Don’t Like Them: A far larger portion of your guests fall into this category than you would think.  This is especially true at nicer restaurants.  Guests who feel out of place or underdressed will think that you are judging them.  This is usually rooted in them transferring their insecurities onto you.  Imagine going into a hipster bar, a biker bar, or any other place that you feel you wouldn’t fit in.  This insecurity is generally rooted in feeling like you would be judged.  When people find themselves in a situation in which they feel judged, it is natural to dislike the person they perceive as judging them.

2) They Are Intimidated By You: I know this may come as a shock to some of you, but you are intimidating.  You are on your home turf, surrounded by friendly coworkers, and knowledgeable about the menu they are giving a blank stare.  You stand above them.  Maybe you have a full head of hair and they are bald.  They might be worried that their spouse is attracted to you.  Whatever the reason, they must step up their hostility to let you know that they are in charge.

3) They Don’t Like Servers: Some people have a legitimate hostility towards our profession.  I would think this was odd if it were not for the fact that I have a fair amount of hostility towards Dentists in spite of one of my best friends being one.  Maybe they had a bowl of soup spilt on them as a child.  Their high school sweetheart might have been a hostess and left them for that cool server who could buy her beer.  They might even have encountered so many unscrupulous and uncaring servers that they have decided all servers are the same.

4) They Don’t Like Anyone: While many servers assume this is true of all hostile guests, it is usually not the case.  This does not however mean that these people do not exist.  Some people are just surly towards everyone.  They are often times older or dining alone.  You can also spot them in a group from the reactions of the people around them.  When the other people at the table look deeply apologetic and embarrassed, you know what you are dealing with.  This should be the last option when trying to categorize guests.

5) They Want Something For Free: This is another category most servers are too quick to assume about.  It also is a reality regarding a small percentage of guests.  These are the guests who will send back their drink because it didn’t taste the way they thought or wasn’t strong enough.  They will complain about the food.  Even when they enjoy something they will refuse to say so because they view the experience as a negotiation.  While it is easy to say their motivation is to get something for free, it is actually slightly different.  They want to be treated as if they are special and therefore receive things others do not.

The bad news is that there is no completely accurate test to determine who falls into which category.  Guests will not acknowledge that they fall into any of them.  The good news is that it does not matter.  The basic strategy for dealing with each of these guests is the same.  Tomorrow, I will discuss the antidote to each of these poisons.  Understanding what makes a guest like you will unlock the solution to each of these problems.  You no longer have to cower in fear of a hostile guest; you just have to stick to the strategy until they become your regular.

Tips2: Tips For Improving Your Tips is the new book from the author of The Hospitality Formula Network.  It contains the 52 essential skills of the exceptional server.  This book teaches the philosophy to turn average service into an exceptional guest experience that will rapidly increase your tips.  This book shows how you can provide better customer service and dramatically improve your tips.  Enter the coupon code “squared” to receive 20% off your copy today.

People Who Read This Post Also Enjoyed:

I Make A Mean Cherry Limeade (Tips Squared)

The Disadvantages of Set Schedules (Tips Squared)

The Greatest Customer Complaint Response Ever (Restaurant Laughs)

Cost vs Profit (The Manager’s Office)

Fruit Flies (Foodie Knowledge)

The Lost Art Of Suggestive Selling

This will be relevant by the end of the post.

“Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.” –Anonymous

 

We as a society have really lost the power of subtlety.  It could be because we have lost the patience to unravel it.  We receive far more information on a daily basis than our ancestors a hundred years ago could even process.  Most of this information is not subtle.  It is blasted at us with bells and whistles to get our attention.  The news channels do not just report the news, they also tell us what to think about it.  Movies no longer imply that a couple is about to “make whoopee”, they show us the scenes in the trailer.  In a few generations we have gone from Marilyn Monroe standing over a vent to Britney Spears getting out of a limousine.

With all of these changes, we have forgotten what it means to be “suggestive.”  This is particularly true in restaurants.  A few decades ago, corporate restaurants determined that they wanted their servers to be sales people.  The also determined that they had no interest in paying for the training necessary to actually accomplish this.  Instead, they decided to teach their servers to use adjectives and “suggestive selling.”  One of the first posts on this blog was declaring my disdain for the overuse of adjectives.  I recently realized that I never discussed my equal dislike for the corporate restaurant incarnation of “suggestive selling.”

As with most great restaurant ideas of the last couple decades, this was based on “research.”  No one will ever accuse upper level restaurant managers of being scientists or sociologists.  When they set up this “research” they will generally have one group follow the protocol they want to introduce.  The other group will do nothing different.  When the first group produces results greater than the second, they view this as proof of success.  This result is then broadcast as fact and soon becomes conventional wisdom.  They seldom look for the actual mechanism that produces the result or how their hypothesis can be altered to produce greater results.

Before we go any further, I want to try an experiment of my own.  I will not claim it to be scientific, but I will use it for a point later on.  This is not a trick and there is no wrong answer.  In your mind, I want you to picture a glass of wine, a cocktail, and an appetizer.  Your first instinct is all that matters.  Try to remember for just a few minutes what each of those items are.  Is the wine red or white?  A particular varietal?  What appetizer and cocktail were your first responses?  Are these the ones that sound most appealing to you at this particular moment?  We will return to this point in a minute.

It is probably necessary for me to clarify what suggestive selling is and conversely what it is not.  Restaurants have inaccurately labeled any number of things as suggestive selling.  Suggestive selling is not asking a guest if they would like to add a salad or soup to their meal.  While it is making a suggestion, it is not suggestive selling.  Suggestive selling is using the power of suggestion to manifest an idea in the buyer’s mind of something they want.  People have a negative reflex towards being sold something.  They on the other hand will gladly buy something that they determined on their own that they wanted.  The art of suggestive selling is to create the idea in their mind while allowing them to take credit for the idea.

White Zinfandel, Margarita, and Chips and Salsa.  The law of averages tells me that because I picked the most common response to each of those categories I should have guessed one right for about a third of you.  Additionally, about one third of you would alter your answer because I guessed it.  Most of you I struck out on.  Let me follow up with another question.  Do any of you think my guesses are more appealing than the ones you had in your mind originally?

The commonly used statistic in restaurants is that suggesting a specific glass of wine, cocktail, or appetizer will increase the sales of that item by ten to twenty percent.  This is compared to walking up to a table and asking them, “what can I get you to drink?”  While I already discussed why the word “drink” kills sales.  I think there is a third option the “research” does not account for.  Using words that trigger a response in the minds of your guests.

When I asked you to think of those particular items earlier, you most likely picked the ones you liked most.  Just as the word “drink” produces an instinctive response, so do “wine”, “cocktail”, and “appetizer.”  While “drink” probably produces a reply of your favorite non-alcoholic beverage, the other words open up a new world of possibilities.  If when I said “cocktail” you started salivating for a Dewars and water, I would not produce the same results by recommending a top shelf margarita.  In fact a margarita was the opposite of what you were thinking and now I have labeled myself as someone who is trying to sell you something you do not want.

Suggestive selling is making subtle statements that lead people to decide on their own to buy things you want to sell.  It is not pushing particular items on them.  Letting the guest have the thought on their own makes them feel like they are in control.  It also prevents you from looking like a salesperson.  Oddly enough the mark of excellence as a server who sells is the guest not being aware that you are selling them anything.  A good server provides their guests with what they want.  A great server leads their guests to want things that they did not even know they wanted.

Other articles on how to sell more as a server:

I Make A Mean Cherry Limeade

Using Words That Sell

The Most Important Phrase You Are Not Using

Selling Away and Selling Up

How To Sell More Desserts

Tips2: Tips For Improving Your Tips is the new book from the author of The Hospitality Formula Network.  It contains the 52 essential skills of the exceptional server.  This book teaches the philosophy to turn average service into an exceptional guest experience that will rapidly increase your tips.  This book shows how you can provide better customer service and dramatically improve your tips.  Enter the coupon code “squared” to receive 20% off your copy today.