Tag Archives: David Hayden

The Fine Dining Service Conundrum

Posted on March 7, 2012 by David Hayden| Leave a comment
fine dining

I bet I know what he is thinking

Since most of you are not from Kansas City, a bit of background is in order.  The most popular show on our local public television station is called Check Please.  It is a show that allows three people to talk about their favorite restaurant.  Each of the three guests selects a restaurant and all three have a meal there.  Then they get together on camera to discuss them.  You can watch this recent episode online at the KCPT website.

Here is a quick synopsis for those who don’t have time to watch the whole clip.  Two people loved the restaurant and one was not as impressed.  I think this holds true for all three restaurants on this episode and most every episode of the show I have seen.  One line from this episode caught my attention.  The guest who had recommended the home style buffet restaurant said of the classic Kansas City Steakhouse, “For the prices they were charging, I felt like I should have my own server.”

Every since I have made the leap to fine dining, I have postulated that this thought goes through a number of guests’ minds.  This is the first time I heard it actually expressed aloud by a guest.  Her issue was not that the service was inadequate, but rather that it did not meet the level of service she was expecting to accompany the price tag.  This sort of “sliding scale” of service is a factor faced by many fine dining servers.  It is also one of the most frustrating.

While I can’t speak of the service provided at the buffet, I can speak of the service provided at most fine dining restaurants.  Most of the servers in these establishments make it their goal to not be noticed.  Most of them have years of experience at less expensive restaurants that allowed them to move up to a fine dining establishment.  Most of them are armed with a wealth of knowledge about the food, wine, and cocktails they serve.  Most of them can provide you a plethora of information about the local area, nightlife, and romantic spots for after dinner.  Most of them strive to provide non-intrusive service.

This creates a tough standard for the fine dining server.  If 20% at a casual dining restaurant is full drinks and friendly service, what is it at a fine dining restaurant?  There is a limit to what you expect of a server at any restaurant.  Included in the price of the meal at a nicer restaurant are a much more relaxed time frame and often multiple courses.  During that time you receive friendly service and your drinks remain full.  To some people this does not merit the same percentage of a tip as it does in a casual dining restaurant.

This double standard is frustrating as a fine dining server.  I will gladly recite facts about any topic you ask about.  I will present you with specials in a way that will make you salivate.  I will pair the perfect wine with your meal.  I will allow you to relax as I perfectly time multiple courses for maximum enjoyment.  I will patiently refill your drinks as you linger after your meal.  I will not worry when you stay for a meal that lasts three times as long as the average meal in a casual dining restaurant.  During this time, I will be mostly invisible and not disrupt your meal.  My goal is that you do not even know I am there when you do not need me.

At my last restaurant, they had a copy of my “Best Server in Kansas City” plaque in the lobby.  I asked them to take it down.  The owner of the restaurant I work at now offered to promote my book on serving in the restaurant.  I politely declined because I understand the fine dining server’s conundrum.  I don’t sing, dance, lead conga lines, or do magic tricks.  I assume if you are at my restaurant you do not want a server who does those things.  My job is to allow you to not have to worry about a thing while you are at my table.  This is the job of all servers. 

What makes a professional server so valuable is the ability to do this while making it look effortless.  Unfortunately, in the perception of some guests this means they are not earning their tip.  Service standards should not change based on the price of the meal.  We have grown to expect less from casual dining restaurants.  Guests will excuse basic mistakes with less expensive meals.  The standard should be higher for fine dining, but it must still be attainable.  I am not sure what guests who want more than flawless service at a fine dining restaurant are looking for.  I often question whether they know themselves.

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Skill Focus: Selling As A Server

Posted on September 4, 2011 by David Hayden| Leave a comment

server

Of all of the concepts I have introduced on this blog and in my book, this week’s sales focus deals with the topic that I feel most strongly about.  This is the one area I am most disappointed with how it is addressed by the restaurant industry.  So many restaurant companies now refer to their serving staff as the “sales staff” or some derivative of that term.  Incredibly few of them provide an ample education on selling as a server and even less provide an explanation of why sales is actually part of service.  It is instead explained as a way to increase your tips by increasing their sales. 

Now don’t get me wrong here.  I also think selling as a server is a way to increase your tips and improve a restaurant’s sales.  I don’t think this occurs as a result of “upselling and add-ons.”  I am not going to tell you how much you could make over the course of a year if you just sold 12 more desserts a week.  You have heard it before and you have probably learned it doesn’t work.  Selling superfluous items by constant suggestive selling may increase the amount of the check, but the guest still determines the tip.  They will also determine whether or not they return to the restaurant.

So now that I have agreed with every reason you have to dislike trying to sell as a server, please read the next paragraph with an open mind.

Selling as a server is not about trying to get the guest to spend more.  Selling as a server is about trying to get the guest to spend wisely.  The guest came in to buy food, drinks, or both.  It is in your best interest for the guest to order the best (not necessarily the most expensive) meal on the menu.  You have the benefit of having tried most things on the menu and having received the feedback of countless guests.  You are the expert on the food you sell.  If you can direct the guest to the best possible meal, they will appreciate it as an added service you provide.  This will result in a higher tip and a return guest.

Now if every restaurant explained sales in that way, servers would not be so resistant.  Selling is an extension of service.   Some of you might be nervous about the concept of selling due to experiences you have had with bad salespeople.  That is completely understandable, but you should not judge sales by the actions of a bad salesperson.  This would be similar to a guest judging you at the beginning of the meal based upon the actions of the worst server they have ever had.  Take a look at the chapter this skill focus is based upon to further understand this concept.

Chapter 34: In Defense Of Selling As A Server

That is by far my favorite chapter in the book.  It is the one I go to when I do readings for the public and it receives an incredibly favorable response.  No one wants to be sold to.  Everyone wants to receive the benefit of a knowledgeable expert when making a decision.  Selling as a server is your opportunity to provide your expertise to the guest.  When you do so, they will reward you and return.

Tips2: Tips For Improving Your Tips is the new book from the author of The Hospitality Formula Network. It contains the 52 essential skills of the exceptional server. This book teaches the philosophy to turn average service into an exceptional guest experience that will rapidly increase your tips. This book shows how you can provide better customer service and dramatically improve your tips. Enter the coupon code “squared” to receive 20% off your copy today.

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Skill Focus: Creating Regulars

Posted on August 21, 2011 by David Hayden| Leave a comment

regulars

I am kind of a pain to go eat with.  When I make reservations or arrive at any number of restaurants I have a conversation with the host/hostess.  Before being seated I have to determine if certain servers are working that night.  Then we all have to wait to get a table in their section. This annoys some of the people who go out to eat with me.  I assure them that I am proactively trying to make sure we get great service.  I don’t leave such things to chance.  Besides, why would I sit in a random section when I am that server’s regular?

I am a regular for a number of servers around town.  Some are servers that I have worked with in the past.  Others are servers who have given me great service on previous visits.  In addition to the type of tip that only a devout believer in tip karma would leave, I also give repeat business.  I will eat mediocre food with great service, but have written off many restaurants with great food and poor service.  I am the type of regular you want to have.

We all want regulars.  I have had more than my share over the years.  This is because I started very early on in my career trying to determine what created regulars.  I still have some of my first “server business cards” from 14 years ago.  When I recently changed restaurants, I was pleasantly surprised to see the names of some of my favorite regulars on the books during my first month.  This was a very heartwarming tribute to the type of relationship we had developed.

I first shared some of my tips in the post this week’s skill focus is based upon: Creating Regulars.

I covered the basics in that post.  Today I want to give you some more tips on how to turn guests into regulars.

Make time to visit: Even if a guest you had rapport with on a previous visit is not in your section, make time to at least thank them for returning.  This will likely cause them to think highly of you and remember you when they return.

Point out what you remember: If they mention they are going on a trip, be sure and ask how it was when they return.  Point out the fact that you remembered the special requests they had on their last visit.  One set of regulars at my current job require, water with no ice, straws, lemon, sugar, butter, hot sauce, and a box delivered with their meal.  This would normally make them high maintenance, but by memorizing that list, it is one trip to get all of it and leave them impressed.

Use their names: If you want a guest to use your name when they come in, you need to use their name when they are seated.  I prefer to stick to last names.  Greeting a guest with, “Welcome back Mr Johnson” will always make them glad they used your name at the door.

Make them feel special: Introduce them to you manager as someone the manager should know.  Tell them about items you think are outstanding that evening.  Give them the name of another server they can ask for if you are not there and make an introduction.  These are things that give your guests a feeling that they are VIPs.  They will return to maintain that status.

Use Open Table: So many restaurants have Open Table, but very few servers utilize it.  Put some guest notes in the system to provide you with information you want to remember on their next visit.  It is also very helpful for jogging your memory with guests that remember you, but that you don’t remember.  Open Table will tell you the date and table of their last visit.  I find this invaluable in keeping track of new regulars.

Everyone wants to be a regular.  Every server wants to have more regulars.  It is up to the server though to take the necessary steps to facilitate this relationship.  Giving the level of service that makes a guest come back in to see you is only the first step.  Following up with the type of personalized and grateful service that merits a return visit is what creates a long-term regular for years to come.

Tips2: Tips For Improving Your Tips is the new book from the author of The Hospitality Formula Network. It contains the 52 essential skills of the exceptional server. This book teaches the philosophy to turn average service into an exceptional guest experience that will rapidly increase your tips. This book shows how you can provide better customer service and dramatically improve your tips. Enter the coupon code “squared” to receive 20% off your copy today.

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Skills Focus: Building And Maintaining Rapport

Posted on August 14, 2011 by David Hayden| Leave a comment

rapport

Learning how to build and maintain rapport with your guests

A friend recently sent me a message on Facebook before his shift.  He is fairly new to the serving game, but from what I can tell he is improving quickly.  He told me he was heading into a shift and needed to make good money.  He asked if I had any quick advice for him.  I thought about it for a moment and came up with a simple instruction.  I told him to smile at everyone and act like he liked them.  He wrote me back the next day and told me that it was not only his most lucrative shift, but that his manager complimented him as well.

Some of you are sitting back and thinking that story was pretty lame.  I think you might be missing the point.  Beyond simply being a competent server, there is no more important factor in your tip than whether or not you can build rapport with your guests.  How they perceive you is the difference between 10%, 15%, 20%, or 50%.  I can bore you with a bunch of studies that prove this, but instead I will share the original post on this topic.

Building and Maintaining Rapport

So if your tip is determined by how much the guest likes you, how do you make them like you?  The secret is held in the two simplest ways to make someone like you.

People like people who like them:  This is an irrefutable fact of life.  When someone dislikes us or finds us annoying, we think less of them.  When someone likes us we are drawn to them.  We feel they obviously have good taste if they like us.  This is the root of the advice to my friend.  Smiling at guests and expressing that you are glad they are there will make them more likely to think highly of you.  This is how rapport is built. 

People like people who are like them: This is the second most important factor for the guest after feeling that the server likes them.  We like people with whom we share common interests.  It could be a sports team or disliking the temperature outside.  This builds rapport, makes you relatable, and sets you apart from the generic server.

Some of you are probably thinking this week’s topic is pretty self explanatory.  Like most of the things I write about it makes sense, but is not something that we attempt about every day.  This is why it is a skill focus for the week.  Spend one week trying to show every guest that you like them and have some sort of common ground.  You will see the results in the tips you receive and the rapport you build.

Tips2: Tips For Improving Your Tips is the new book from the author of The Hospitality Formula Network. It contains the 52 essential skills of the exceptional server. This book teaches the philosophy to turn average service into an exceptional guest experience that will rapidly increase your tips. This book shows how you can provide better customer service and dramatically improve your tips. Enter the coupon code “squared” to receive 20% off your copy today.

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Is The Career Server An Endangered Species?

Posted on August 12, 2011 by David Hayden| 2 Comments
career server

Is the career server going the way of the dinosaur?

Since the release of my book, I have had a chance to do a fair number of interviews.  After the end of the formal interview, I have twice now been told how rare it is to find someone who looks at serving as a profession.  This usually leads me to a correction.  I think there are just as many professional servers as there has always been, just far fewer that view it as a career.  An outstanding fellow server blogger has recently written a pair of pieces on this topic.  I have taken some time to consider this topic and have developed some opinions on what lead to the demise of the career server.

If we look at the career server as we would an endangered species, the first thing to examine is the habitat they tend to reside in.  The career server of a generation ago was almost synonymous with the restaurants where they worked.  These were restaurants that had been local institutions for decades.  They began as young servers and stayed to gain seniority.  With seniority came the opportunity to advance into better shifts, better stations, and larger parties.  They earned a core group of regulars and often as those regulars advanced in their fields, the server would advance through the ranks of the restaurant.  Gaining this seniority gave the server stability of income, benefits, and an overall increase in quality of life.  These servers knew their menu, wine list, and customers down to finite details.  This was the mark of a career server.

As with most cases of a declining population of a species, the habitat of a career server has been greatly reduced.  The change is a result of the evolving tastes of consumers.  Today’s guests are drawn to restaurants that are new and innovative.  These restaurants would have had a difficult time surviving even twenty years ago in a pre-Food Network era.  Most are serving smaller portions of food that are cutting edge and modern.  This is a radical change from the classic steakhouses and French restaurants that fostered generations of career servers.  In my estimation, only one of the top five restaurants in my town has been around for over ten years.  After consulting with a friend, I found that at the one exception only one server had over 10 years of service at that restaurant.  The rapid rise of these restaurants, and the overall increase in the number of restaurants, is driven by this generation’s desire for variety.  This is devastating to the career server’s stable base of weekly regular customers.

It is not only the loss of environment that has lead to the scarcity of career servers.  There has also been a significant decrease in the income that allowed their numbers to thrive.  Over the years, restaurant menu prices have not kept pace with inflation.  While the price of housing, transportation, and gasoline has increased significantly, the price of food has remained relatively stable.  Industrial farming has enabled farmers and ranchers to produce more food than ever before.  This has caused food prices to increase at a rate much lower than the other factors in cost of living.  The cultural standard for tipping has remained stable.  While everything else a server must buy to live has become more expensive, their income has not kept pace.  This is most devastating in the area of health insurance where rates have skyrocketed and fewer restaurants are offering benefits.  As servers age, this gap adds additional pressure to leave the industry.

So what became of the career server?  They have simply changed fields.  Many have seen a transition to management as the only route to stability and advancement.  As their income becomes more unpredictable and their need for health insurance increases, they take the salary and benefits package.  Others will look for an opportunity to become vendors to restaurants.  Many wine, food, and other types of vendors would a generation ago have been career servers.  Most of these servers have left the industry.  Other careers in the service industry, or the corporate world, become attractive to a server who has worn out their knees after working on their feet for a decade.  The result is the career server of the past has adapting to several other environments more suitable to their needs.

Tips2: Tips For Improving Your Tips is the new book from the author of The Hospitality Formula Network. It contains the 52 essential skills of the exceptional server. This book teaches the philosophy to turn average service into an exceptional guest experience that will rapidly increase your tips. This book shows how you can provide better customer service and dramatically improve your tips. Enter the coupon code “squared” to receive 20% off your copy today.

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